Laughing In The Dark
by AnimeWitch15
Summary: Juvia commits suicide and leaves a depressed Gray behind. Will a certain Fire Dragonslayer be able to help? This has straight and yaoi pairings. Don't like don't read my friends.
1. The Beginning was Morbid

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail. This has yaoi (guy&amp;guy). Dont like don't read. Enjoy~**

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**Laughing In the Dark**

**Ch.1**

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**Gray POV**

Looking up at the blue cloudless sky, felt like a crime to the ice wizard. Looking at something so blue and pure reminded Gray of the water mage. The color blue…. It meant so much to Gray. He wouldn't, couldn't, be able to look at blue the same way anymore.

The blue clothes…

The blue hair…

The blue eyes…

Now blue made him feel pain, a pain that seared his icy heart. The images swirled in his brain. Never leaving, a constant pain and memory. The blood. The pain always came at its worst when he thought of the beautiful water mage covered in her blood. A puddle of blood, not water, had been around Juvia, seeping steadily through her wrists.

Gray sits back on the grassy slope by the river. He closes his eyes and waits. Waiting for the sun to set and for the sky to blaze with red. That's all he deserved to see anymore. Red. His punishment. He didn't deserve to look at the blue any more.

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**Natsu POV**

The Guild Hall was quiet and morbid when the Fire Dragonslayer walked in at last. Everyone was still in there black clothing from the funeral. Hushed whispers and sobbing echoed from everywhere. Lucy was sitting down at table in the corner with her back turned to everyone. She was crying hard but quietly. Natsu watched as Loki appeared from the celestial world and sat next to Lucy and put his arm around her.

Natsu turned and sat down at the nearest table. Looking around he saw Mira behind the bar cleaning mugs with her back turned to the guild to. No doubt she was crying as well. At the bar sat Cana, for once not drinking, her face shadowed and ashen. A loud cry rose to Natsus' right. It was Levy, she was hugging Gajeel and he had his arms around her too. His eyes were closed but a single tear fell down his face while Levy sobbed and wept. He really wished Happy where here now, but his friend wanted some time alone for a bit.

The funeral had been short and silent. Master Makarov was the only one who had spoken aloud. His words echoed around the mages gathered near the simple but beautiful grave stone etched in shades of blue and silver.

"It saddens my heart to think that Juvia thought she was ready to leave this world and join the afterlife. She was one of the best wizards I have ever seen in my life time. Her connection to water was strong and pure. Juvia was loved by all at the Guild and it's a shame she wanted to leave us. She has left so many friends and some even considered her family. She will be missed by-"

Someone had started laughing. It was harsh and ragged. Everyone had turned to look to see who it was. Natsu, at first, had been startled. It was Gray. Gray had stood off to the side in black with his head tilted back laughing. Looks of shock had been on everyone's face. No one said anything.

He had stopped suddenly and looked at everyone's face with a grim smile.

"You guys don't get it do you?"

When no one had said anything he had looked down and smiled wider. His face then turned shadowed and tears had started falling.

"Juvia killed herself all right? That meant she was unhappy. It meant we were not enough for her. It means that none of us, not even me, cared enough about her." Grays voice had cracked just then. "She knew it too. None of us realized that she was slipping away… slipping away through our fingers…. _my_ fingers…."

The Fire Dragonslayer had been about to walk up to Gray and comfort his emotional friend when Gray had suddenly ran to Juvias' grave. He had squatted down and started whispering, whispering words no one would ever know. Natsu watched as Gray started using his ice make magic to create flowers of all kinds around Juvias' grave. Roses, daisies, lilies, and more all climbed around the gravestone and the freshly dug mound.

"How beautiful…" Lucy had said.

Gray had stopped and started sobbing. Everyone else had started crying and hiding their faces in their arms. Natsu himself had started crying angry, frustrated sobs.

"It's my fault! It's my fault she killed herself! All mine…"

Gray had been on his hands and knees crying when Makarov had stepped over and put his hand on the ice wizards shoulder.

Makarov had said, "Gray it is not just your fault."

"IT'S _MY_ FAULT! Just leave me alone…" Gray had swatted Master Makarovs hand away then stormed off.

Natsu was about to chase after his friend but Happy had tugged on his pant leg. Shadows covered the cats face but his tears where still noticeable.

"Let him go…"

Natsu had looked back at the direction Gray had headed but decided to listen to his friend. Now he was here at the Guild Hall sitting by himself around his crying family.

For the past hour he had thought of the funeral and Gray had still not returned. Natsu started hoping his friend was okay. Deciding that maybe Gray needed someone now, Natsu stood up and went to search for his friend and, since Natsu and Gray were so close, Natsu knew exactly where his friend would be.

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**Gray POV**

With the sun setting, the sky finally blazed with red. The ice wizard was sitting down in the soft grass with quiet tears slowly falling down his face.

"It's my fault. All my fault. Why Juvia? Why did you leave me?"

Gray had started mumbling and tearing at the blades of soft grass. He stripped into nothing but his trousers. Tears were falling faster now. He raised his hands in front of him.

"Ice Make Juvia…" whispered the ice wizard.

In his hands appeared a little ice Juvia. The way she looked the first time Gray and her met. Her dark blue hair curling inward towards her large hat. Her little doll pinned to her chest. The ice Juvia wasn't smiling but looking away as if embarrassed. Gray moved his hand over the figure and it morphed into the most recent Juvia. With her white and blue dress and her shorter spiky hair. In this one she was laughing and her eyes were closed.

"I'm sorry, Juvia… I'm so, so sorry."

The little ice Juvia disappeared. He let his arms fall to his sides and gazed at the red sky again. He wasn't crying anymore. He was out of tears. The pain in Gray's chest was unbearable. His eyes hurt from lack of sleep and crying.

"Gray…"

The ice wizard slowly turned his weary head to look for the Fire Dragonslayer. He was on top of the slope looking down at Gray with uncertain, sad eyes. But when Natsu smiled, Gray knew that his friend had come to check up on him. Not being able to look at the Dragonslayers smile anymore, the ice wizard turned around to look at the sunset again.

"Natsu…."

In the small amount of time since the ice mage had turned away, Natsu had silently crept up behind Gray. When the Fire Dragonslayer laid a hand on the ice wizard's shoulder, he was surprised when he did not shrug it off but seemed to lean into it instead.

"You can't beat yourself up about this buddy," Natsu told his friend.

"But it is my fault, you don't understand. Juvia always made it so painfully obvious how she felt about me and it took this for me to realize my mistake. If I would have noticed even a week ago, she would still be here. She wouldn't have been so alone." Gray was sobbing again. Angry, angst filled sobs raked down his body.

Natsu kneeled down beside his friend and put an arm around him. Gray leaned into the warmth hoping it would help to cut some of the pain that he felt. Gray wished his heart was actually made of ice so he wouldn't have to feel the pain in his chest. So he could just be completely numb to the world around him. This pain was more than any physical trauma he had been through before. The pain of loss. Of guilt. He deserved it all though. He didn't deserve the easy way out because the entire thing was his fault. All his fault…

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**Well hope you all enjoyed chapter one. Starting chapter two soon. **

**Jessi-chan~**


	2. Not Because of Juvia

**Sorry for the wait, it's been over a year haaaaa I'm so sorry Dx I do not own Fairy Tail and this has boy x boy so yeah... Enjoy Ch2...**

**Ch2**

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**Gray POV**

Gray woke up early the next day on the side of the bank. Natsu was holding Gray in his arms and his face was peaceful as he slept. The ice mage snuggled closer to the warmth of the Dragonslayer and felt Natsu's arm tighten around Gray's thin frame.

However Gray's mind cleared and the past week's events came rushing back to him. He peeled himself away from Natsu and stood above the sleeping Dragonslayer. This was a little too close for friends to sleep anyway.

"Mmm Gray," Natsu mumbled as he rolled over. A strange blush started to form on the ice mage's cheeks. He also noticed his shirt and shoes were missing, but at least he still had his pants. The ice mage looked down regrettably at his best friend then walked to the water's edge. He splashed some water on his face then quickly became mournful. Water. Juvia. Why had he been so blind, so naive? She was so kind to him. Especially him, and yet Gray still had ignored her. Grays face shadowed as tears began to sting in his eyes.

The ice mage turned back to his pink haired friend and squatted close next to him. He tentatively reached out to stroke Natsu's cheek, but stopped before his fingertips met Natsu's' skin. He didn't deserve Natsu that way, not even as a friend. He wasn't good enough for him. He wasn't good enough for the girl who gave him everything… and had got nothing in return. She had loved him and he didn't even take in consideration for her feelings. Gray looked at the sky and towards the guild hall and sighed. The pain was too much for him to handle. The regret, the sadness, the guilt… He looked down at his sleeping friend and smiled.

"Goodbye, Natsu…" He said with tears finally falling down his face.

The sun had risen over the horizon now and shone on Natsu's' hair making it glow from its warmth. Gray longed to just curl up next to his friend and forget everything. He couldn't though, he didn't deserve that. Instead he created an ice flower in the spot Gray had slept in. It was just a simple rose; the ice was a pink shade. The ice mage thought it was a lovely parting gift for his friend. Silently Gray turned on his heel with his face down and walked away from Natsu, towards town. He knew what he had to do in order to stop feeling the pain. It was wrong, but he just couldn't live with it.

He passed street signs and people carrying on with their daily routine. It angered Gray. How could they just move on when one of the best wizards at Fairy Tail had recently died? He was originally going to head to the Guild Hall but he wasn't ready to go back. Instead he headed towards the mountains. Maybe some ice could freeze his emotions and heartache.

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**Levy POV**

Sitting in the guild hall surrounded by all her mourning friends was getting to be too much for Levy. Around midnight, she finally went to her apartment and curled up on her bed and read a book by candlelight. The moon wasn't out, which made the outside world look eerie and morbid. Unfortunately, as much as she tried, she couldn't stop crying and closed the book. She hugged her knees and wept into her arms. Juvia had been her friend and now…. Now Levy couldn't do anything to help. How could she be so blind to the truth? She was one of the brightest in the guild: how could something like this slip past her? Levy glanced over to the nightstand were a frame held a picture of her, Lucy, Erza, and Juvia at the beach. They were standing next to each other smiling and looking happy. She laid it next to her on the bed to see it better. Levy knew without out looking that her eyes were swollen red and her nose was runny. She must look terrible.

Levy tried again to read but ended up dozing on and off and suddenly it became morning. She rose from her bed and pile of books to stretch. Levy couldn't believe she actually had been able to sleep. A knock on her door made the mage start.

"Shrimp, it's me, open up," said a voice from behind her door.

"What do you want Gajeel?" Levy made no movement to get up and unlock the door. She was in her depression cocoon and didn't want to leave it.

"If you don't let me in I am going to eat your door knob again."

She dove from her bed and rushed to the door.

"I swear if you do that again- I have already gone through nine of them, don't even thi!-"

She stopped short though, as Gajeel loomed over her with his head down and his face shadowed. He looked up and Levy briefly caught a glimpse of tears sliding down his cheeks. Her heart felt as though it had just cracked a little more for the second time this week. Suddenly, his arms wrapped around her neck and pulled her to his chest. A rosy blush immediately appeared on Levy's face.

"Hey, what are you doing?" she managed. Her voice wavered as her throat got tight and her eyes began to sting again.

"I was just… wondering how you were doing Shrimp. I know both of us were close to Juvia," he mumbled into my hair. "Do you… need anything? Anything at all? Let me know if something is wrong okay? I will always be here for you. I will always protect you. I couldn't even imagine-"

"Gajeel," She took a step back and placed her finger on his mouth, silencing him. "I am sad, but not as sad as Juvia was."

Levy gave a reassuring smile to the Dragonslayer and grabbed his large hand. She raised it to her face and nuzzled it like a cat. Gajeel smiled and blushed at the action like Levy hoped he would.

"Come, let's go to the Guild Hall and see if we can cheer Gray up." Levy said as she closed the door behind her; the mood between the two lightened.

"Oh, I'm sure Natsu is already on that." Gajeel said with a wink.

"Gajeel you are terrible!" Levy said slapping his arm playfully. She did wonder though, if this tragic time would finally bring the two to admit their true feelings.

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**Natsu POV**

"GRAY!"

The Fire Dragonslayer woke with a start. His head was ringing from the dream. He was having a nightmare but could only remember that it had something to do with Gray. Natsu sat up and looked around. He could see his indent in the grass along with some other persons as well… Then he remembered.

"Gray…"

They must have been sleeping real close together judging by the way the grass was flattened. The Fire Dragonslayer turned the color of his hair at the thought. Natsu got up and looked at the small pink ice rose Gray had left behind. He picked it up and glared at the piece of ice. Anger rose in him like a bubble ready to burst. He melted the ice flower and growled.

"Who does that ice brick think he is to just leave and disappear like this? Stupid popsicle breath."

Natsu headed to the Guild Hall and entered through the big wooden doors. The atmosphere was still dark and quiet. It made the Dragonslayer uncomfortable. He headed over to Happy who was sitting at their usual table with Carla. The cats where quiet and had shadowed looks on their faces. Natsu sat down and gave a friendly smile at the two of them

"Hey uh, have you guys seen Gray anywhere? I really need to talk to him."

The cats looked at each other then shook their heads no.

"We haven't seen Gray since he stormed off from the funeral." Happy said in a tight voice.

"Okay. Thanks, Happy. Listen I'm going to be gone for awhile to look for Gray, will you tell the others not to worry? I need to be sure that he is okay."

Happy nodded and went off with Carla towards Levy and Gajeel; the Dragonslayer turned and left the Guild Hall in a dash. Outside he stopped and wondered where his friend would have gone. It was crucial for Natsu find Gray before the ice mage would do something stupid. He looked around town and even checked Lucy's place but was unsuccessful.

"Where would that ice princess go anyway? The only place left close by is the mountains! Oh… Damnit!"

Natsu, frustrated that he didn't think of it sooner, ran towards the path that led from the village and into the mountains. He ran past the fields and forests and up the mountain path in order to find his friend. Natsu wanted to be there for Gray, he was his teammate, his companion. The worry that the Dragonslayer felt was getting overwhelming. He didn't understand these feelings though. Did Natsu feel something more towards Gray than friendship?

"Stupid Gray," mumbled a blushing Natsu as the icy winds whipped around him, "Stupid mountains…"

The path was lost now and the snow was falling harder and harder on Natsu. His belly growled from hunger and he was actually starting to feel the cold. He pulled his scarf over his nose and ears and started rubbing his arms. The Dragonslayer was wading through snow that was up to his waist. It was becoming dark and Natsu didn't know what to do.

"Gray! Hey ice pop are you out here!?" hollered Natsu, but his words were lost in the wind.

He could barely see a few feet in front of him. The cold was beginning to give him frostbite. He had to keep searching though, he had to find Gray. The worry was eating away at him. Natsu couldn't lose Gray, he couldn't handle it. It would be like losing Igneel all over again…

Natsu looked to his left and saw a golden glow. He waded through the snow more quickly and made out that the glow came from a cabin. There was smoke coming out of the chimney and Natsus hope rose up. The Fire Dragonslayer mustered the last of his energy and hollered towards the cabin.

"Gray! Hello?! Gray!"

He had almost reached the door before he collapsed.

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**Sorry to leave off in such a cliffhanger... Anyway have no fear my readers, the gay fluff is gonna come into play next chapter. Hope you enjoyed it so far!**

**~Jessi-chan**


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